The Simple Steps to Building a Utopia
Building a Utopia is not about shaping the external world; it is an internal, iterative process. Here is the visual cycle of how it works:
Step 1: Identify a Problem
Signal of Pain
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Step 2: Rant
Release & Externalize
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Step 3: Fantasize
Envision Resolution
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Step 4: Obsess
Plan & Weigh Consequences
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Step 5: Build
Evaluate & Adjust
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Did a new painful state arise?
- Yes: ↻ Return to Step 1
- No: → Arrive at Utopia / Happiness
Step 1: Identify a Problem
To know that something is a problem is simple. Catch yourself at any one moment in any one or more of these painful mental states: Fear, Disgust, Shame, Guilt, Hunger, Hate, Envy, Jealousy, Anger, Resentment, Boredom, Confusion, Doubt, Abandonment, Rejection, or Loneliness.
Instead of judging or pitying yourself, thank your body for raising an important signal. Any one of these states is simply letting you know that there is a problem worth solving.
Step 2: Rant
Indulge in this mental state by expressing it. You can do this by writing about it, calling your mother to vent, calling your therapist to talk, insulting a stranger on social media, or sharing a strongly worded rebuke with your children or employees. Do anything that comes naturally to you that allows you to turn this subjective state of mind into an objective artifact in the world that you can share with someone else.
Step 3: Fantasize
Most people usually skip this stage and either get stuck at the ranting stage or skip straight to the obsessing stage. But in order to build a Utopia, this is the most important stage.
You have to imagine a world where this mental state doesn't exist. Was your rant an expression of anger towards your ex? Well, what about fantasizing about a world where he doesn't exist, or maybe one where they did not leave you? Whatever fantasy gives you that craving for a world without the mental state that triggered this problem-solving process will work.
Step 4: Obsess
It is crucial that you are obsessing about the fantasy and not the rant. This is extremely important. If you obsess about the rant, you'll end up creating a dystopia in the next stage, but what we are doing here is creating a Utopia.
Think, plan, and learn—detail by detail—what it would take to actually live in the world of your fantasy. What exactly needs to happen for this world to come into existence? The obsession can range from wild thoughts, like needing to buy a weapon, to apologizing, or setting a thirst trap for your ex—or the equivalent for whatever your situation is. Just get as detailed as you can.
During the obsession stage, don't forget to obsess about the consequences of your actions, too. If you get a weapon, it could hurt you instead. If you set a thirst trap, they might sleep with you and still not get back together with you. If you apologize, they might have already moved on. Obsessing about the consequences is a mandatory part of this stage.
Step 5: Build
What is the least action you can take with the most acceptable consequences? Take that action.
Did it go the way you expected? With the next action you take, accept a bit more risk with the consequences. Anytime an action puts you back into one of the painful mental states listed above, go back to Step One.
Do this for the rest of your life, and you'll be the happiest person in the world. It is in that happiness where the Utopia lies. Utopia is not found in any kind of external measurement of the state of the world.